Welcome to.....a bible teaching....
GOD fearing....site.... we are
The New Unity Church
Welcome to.....a bible teaching....
GOD fearing....site.... we are
The New Unity Church
Est. 1982
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?' The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'
A little child in church watched as the ushers passed the offering plate. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear. 'Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five.'
A 54 Year-Old Woman
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
... God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied " I didn't recognize you".
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
... God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied " I didn't recognize you".
Kids...
A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question,
"Boys and girls, what do we know about God?
A hand shot up in the air,
"He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
... "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven...."
A Sunday school teacher began her lesson with a question,
"Boys and girls, what do we know about God?
A hand shot up in the air,
"He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
... "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven...."